Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
