Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
