And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
