How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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