not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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