he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize