did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
PANTIES FOUND
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