Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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