And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
