Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
