i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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