just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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