After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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