Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
