i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Come share oat with me in your robe
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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