areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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