Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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