Buhtt sex?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
