I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
