you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
