rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
