bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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