How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wish my penis had a tongue
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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