we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
