So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
