What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
