Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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