Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's official drugs can't kill me
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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