I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
