OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
