His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
