Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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