these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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