And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
