Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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