marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
