420 ftw
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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