Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my being single is dangerous.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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