Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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