He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Operation Purity has been aborted
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
