we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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