i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
