the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
