I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
