yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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