I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Randomize
