a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
