i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
