Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
