i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
